Have You Dated This Guy? I Have...

Posted by Erin Brown on Sunday, April 17, 2011 in 2011, advice, blog, cheaters, dating, fake people, inspiration, introspect, life, love, motivation, relationships, self-esteem, self-worth, strong woman,

‘The moment you settle for less than you deserve is the moment you deserve exactly what you settled for.’

The other night while reading through random blogs online, I stumbled upon a blog about relationships. I began to read it and instantly fell in love!  I struck ‘relationship information gold’ when I discovered the Baggage Reclaim.  It’s a blog written by a woman and I can tell you that Natalie Lue is on point with her evaluations of situations and the advice she provides.

The first post I read was about people that she has affectionately dubbed ‘assclowns’.  I LOVE it!  It’s such a fitting name for these folks.  In this post she gives you the information that you need to discover if you are involved with an ‘assclown’.
 

You’re probably wondering what an ‘assclown’ is, right?  Natalie provides a pretty in-depth definition.  She says:

‘‘An assclown is someone that mistreats you and more often than not eventually proves to be a waste of time and space. He (or she) adds little or no value to the relationship and the cost to you of being with him is often your self-esteem, your well-being, and for some, your career, family, or friends. They only have one foot or possibly even a toe in the relationship, or even nothing at all, and they knowingly (even if they deny it) mess you around and enjoy the fringe benefits of being with you (ego stroking, sex, a reliable shoulder to lean on, money etc) even though they don’t actually want you or have no intentions of ever giving you the relationship that you want. Often mixed in with Mr Unavailables, while some Mr Unavailables are assclowns, because they actively and knowingly seek to mistreat, exploit, and abuse people they’re involved with, all assclowns are ‘unavailable’, are narcissistic or have narcissistic tendencies, and don’t mean anyone that they become involved with any good and veer between at best being users and at worst, being very dangerous.’

After reading her description, I realized that I have dated this guy...over, and over, and over, and over!  Sad, but true.  I’ve also been with ‘Mr. Unavailable‘.  (Take note that Mama’s Boys are listed and fall under the Mr. Unavailable category.)

Ladies, we need to do much better.  The solution I’m offering is for you to take a step back and look at your part in attracting these men.  Are you attracted to them because you think you can fix or change them?  Are they a reflection of your true inner-self?  Self-evaluation should definitely be the at the top of your priority list if you are a woman that is constantly in a relationship with ‘Mr. Unavailable’ or an assclown.  

We owe it to ourselves to love ourselves more than we love these men that are not capable of loving or treating us in the manner in which we deserve.  We know they don’t deserve us, but at the end of the day the only person that can make the decision to take action is you.  Just remember that no one can do anything to you that you don’t allow them to do.  We can’t continue to place the blame on men when they treat us badly and disrespect us.  It’s what we allowed them to do.