The Epiphany...

Posted by Erin Brown on Friday, October 20, 2017 in 2017, epiphany, lessons, life,

Last night I had an epiphany. There are so many things that go on in my life, but I don’t ever really take the time to see them for what they really are. It’s the same thing with people. I’ve, at least, learned to see people for who they are by believing what they show me and not what they tell me. Unfortunately, words no longer mean anything to me. I make decisions based on actions alone.

One of the things that I’ve learned in life is that no one can do anything to you that you do not allow them to do. It’s actually common sense if you think about it. We are the cause of our own feelings and circumstances. Knowing that, I’ve realized three things:

Rejection doesn’t hurt…expectations do. – I have a huge problem with expectations. For some silly reason, I feel like everyone should do the right thing, just as I would. When they don’t, that’s when I end up hurt. I’ve learned not to expect anything from anyone. People are going to do what they do and, unfortunately, we cannot control other people. Without expectations, it’s much less stressful and hurtful in the end.

Lies don’t break hearts…denial does. – People lie. It’s a fact of life. We’ve all done it at one time or another. What I’ve learned is that by not having expectations, when the lies come flying at you like daggers, they don’t seem to hurt as much. What hurts is that you believed the lie knowing that something just isn’t right. You made yourself believe that people would be honest instead of trusting your instincts and the facts surrounding the lie. That’s called living in a state of denial. You can’t blame anyone else for where you choose to live, right?

Forgetting doesn’t heal…forgiveness does. – We’ve all heard the saying, “Forgive, but never forget.” It’s true. Forgetting puts you back in the state of denial. You need to remember the situation so that you can learn from it. It’s forgiveness that will heal you from the anger or pain associated with whatever happened.

I feel that I’m in a much better place now that I’ve had this epiphany. It’s helped me to understand that I am the cause of my stress. I need to handle it a little better. For now, all I can do is work on it. I have to do something, though…stress is a killer and I’m not trying to die anytime soon.