Role Reversal: You Should Be Stronger Than Me...
'Why you always put me in control? All I need is for my man to live up to his role...'
~Amy Winehouse, Stronger Than Me
Amy Winehouse is one of
my favorite artists. Yes, she’s had her ‘issues’, but we all have our demons
and shouldn’t judge her. I’m talking about her talent as a musician and
vocalist. She has a phenomenal voice and she’s a talented
songwriter. What I love about her is the fact that she creates honest
music. She says what most people are afraid to say and writes about topics
that some would consider off limits. She’s not afraid to take chances and she
makes no apologies for it. You have to respect her for that. There
aren’t many women in the music game that can do this successfully.
On her first album, she
wrote a song called Stronger Than Me. It’s about men that aren’t
really...men. She sings what most women feel when they are with this type of
man and she does it flawlessly.
The one thing that a
woman wants is for a man to be a man. We love a strong man that we can depend
on to protect us. He should be the protector, provider, and our rock. Our
job is to be the emotional one in the relationship. We want our man to be
the one with the ability to be calm during these times. But what happens
when the woman takes over the perceived male role? Will it work?
Men should know one
thing - if you allow a woman to be ‘the man’ in the relationship, you’re in for
the ride of your life. I hope you can handle it because it’s possible
that it will be a bumpy road. Many of us, by nature, are extremely
emotional and love to be in control of everything. Our man can balance this by
‘putting us in our place’ when it’s needed. When I say ‘putting us in our
place’ I do not mean that a man should use any type of physical force or
emotional abuse. I am saying that he should know us and love us enough to
effectively shut us up when we begin venting. This is usually achieved by
walking away or making us feel as though what we are saying has no effect on
you. Know that these tactics will elevate our frustration level, but in the end
you win because we will shut up. (Sidenote: Ladies, if your man is abusing you
in any way, you need to address the situation now. And by ‘address’ I mean
leave.)
Yes, I used the word
‘venting’ because that’s exactly what we are doing. In man terms, this
most likely translates into nagging or complaining, but just know that we are
simply venting our frustration on a specific situation that you have been silly
enough to cause. Our venting sessions do occasionally include mentioning past
situations that may, or may not, have any relation to the current situation,
but it’s just what we do. A man who has the ability to allow us to vent
our feelings without feeling the need to defend, give advice, try to change, or
verbally attack is a real man. Although this is difficult for some, it is
achievable.
So, how do we view a man
that takes on the role of the woman and allows us to take the role of the
man? Well, the answer is definitely not good and could certainly provide
a blow to the male ego: when our man demonstrates the emotional traits of a
woman, it’s a turn-off. In a woman’s eyes it’s a sign of weakness and we
tend to lose respect for him.
Personally, I know that
I need a strong man in my life. Only someone with strength would be able
to put up with my random ‘venting’ sessions. My personality will only allow for
a man with emotional strength and an enormous amount of patience. I know
that I can be a little much at times and I am always up front about that.
I am going to side with Ms. Winehouse on this one: You, as a man, Should
Be Stronger Than Me.
Let's hear your thoughts...