A Woman's Worth...

Posted by Erin Brown on Tuesday, July 19, 2011 in relationships,

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.' 

~Proverbs 31:10

I was thinking today and realized something:  for all we do and everything we give, many women feel severely under-appreciated in their relationship.  Sad realization, but very true.  I’m sure men could raise the same argument, but I can’t, and won’t, speak for them. 

I recently had a conversation with a friend that is going through some things in her relationship.  Her main issue – he is too comfortable and does not appreciate the things that she does for him.  I asked if she has brought it to his attention and she said that she’s brought it up more than a few times.  She feels as though he just does not seem to get it or he doesn’t care. 

Honestly, this seems normal to me.  Relationships are not easy and men are completely different from women.  The main difference between men and women is that women are emotional beings by nature.  Men, on the other hand, are physical creatures and are not equipped with the emotional gene.  Therefore, when a man has forgotten all about the issue that has us so upset, he’s on to the next thing while we’re still thinking about it…and you had better believe, we’re not going to forget.

I get her point, though.  It’s in our nature to do everything we can to cater to our man, but when it’s not reciprocated it becomes a major problem…at least for us. She said, “I’d like to see him do his own laundry, handle the household, cook, clean and everything else after he’s been used to me doing everything for him.  I’m sure he wouldn’t even know what to do.  It would probably be pretty inconvenient and annoying after he’s been used to doing other things instead of the necessary chores that I do for him.”

Once again, she has a point.

Gentlemen, I can only tell you, as a woman, that when we put time and energy into making sure all of your needs are handled, you may just want to put in the same energy to make sure we’re happy.  You had better believe that just when you think she’s not going anywhere, there is always another man lurking around the corner that is willing to show her the attention and appreciation that you aren’t showing her.  They are just waiting for you to mess up the good thing that you have because you have what they want…a good woman.  The sad part is that it’s usually someone you know or her ex that has finally realized what he’s done wrong and wants another chance to make things right. 

Like they say – Happy wife, happy life.  Showing a little attention and making small gestures to put a smile on her face is all it really takes for most women.  If money is tight, pack a picnic basket with sandwiches, pretzels, fruit and a bottle of her favorite wine and take her to the beach or a nice park for a picnic.  How about sending flowers to her job or buying the flowers and personally delivering them to her while she’s at work?  If money isn’t an issue, I suggest diamonds.  You can never go wrong with diamonds.

I think Alicia Keys said it best:

‘Wanna please, wanna keep
Wanna treat your woman right
Not just dough, better show
That you know she is worth your time…

You will lose if you choose
To refuse to put her first
She will, and she can,
Find a man who knows her worth…’

My advice – Appreciate her now, or lose her later.  Do not treat her like the option when she should be valued and made into a priority in your life.  She’s done it for you, so do the same for her. 

And one last thing – Don’t talk about it…be about it!