30 Days of Truth: Day 6 - ‘Something You Hope You Never Have to Do’

30 Days of Truth: Day 6 - ‘Something You Hope You Never Have to Do’

Posted by Erin Brown on Wednesday, January 12, 2011 in 2011, 30 days of truth, child, children, death, family, memories, something i hope i never have to do,

This is not a post that I want to write or a topic that I even want to think about.  When I think of something I hope I never have to do, I think of death.  I don’t want to bury anyone in my family.  I know that’s not realistic.  My grandmother is getting older, my parents are getting older...everyone is getting older and death is a natural part of life.  But the one person I hope that I never have to bury is my son.

I feel like the worst pain that a parent can feel is when they have to bury their child.  I can’t say that I won’t feel the same way when my grandparents or my parents pass away, but my child...I don’t ever want to feel that pain.  It’s actually killing me to think about it right now.

Since we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, I will cherish every moment with my little man.  We both make mistakes, but I love him with all of my being.  So, if you are a parent and you read this, I hope that you love your children as much as I love my son.  Spend time with them and create lasting memories.  God forbid you should ever have to bury your child.  If you do, at least the memories will live on.  

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What a Day...

What a Day...

Posted by Erin Brown on Monday, May 17, 2010 in death, Mr. Pops,

Ok, so call me crazy, but today I thought that I was going to come home and relax. I guess the Creator had a different plan for me. Not only have I not slept, I've been up taking care of my son after a pretty traumatic day.

This morning was a little hectic. I didn't hear the alarm, so I woke up about 45 minutes late. Christian and I rushed to get to school and work on time, but we did it. Not once did I complain about waking up late or the rain that has been coming down all day. I was just happy to have been awakened this morning by some force that didn't want me to be late for work. It felt like a normal day, but I should've known something was going to go wrong.

I got off of work and picked Christian up from school. I spoke to one of his teachers and she was smiling and acting normal. As soon as Christian jumped in the car, and before I pulled off, he said, "Mommy, guess what? Today Mr. Pops passed away."

I was calm and asked, "Did you see him today? Was he here?"

"Yes, he passed away here, and now he's with God in Heaven," Christian replied.

"Did you see it happen?" I asked.

"Yes, Mommy! I saw it. I just feel so bad what happened to him," he said. And then he started crying.

I don't know about anyone else, but that's really not something that I wanted my five year old son to see. After I spoke to his teacher, I understood a little bit more, but I'm a little upset that the pastor did not send some sort of communication home with the children. Better yet, he could've called each parent to explain what happened.

So, needless to say, I'm up at 11:00 pm trying to console my son. He's clearly upset. This was a man that interacted with the children at the school every day. He cooked lunch for the kids and for the homeless people in the community. He was a good man and I am going to miss seeing his smiling face every morning as I drop Christian off at school. I'm not exactly sure how he passed away, but I do know there was blood involved. I believe it may have been a seizure.

I don't want my child to think that everyone dies in this manner. I can say that he is handling it better than I have. He's a very strong little man (he obviously gets his strength from me).

At the end of the day, the world has lost a wonderful servant. He has been called home and I just feel blessed to have known him for the 3 years that I have.

R.I.P. Mr. Pops. You will be missed.

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