I sense these posts will get shorter and shorter. This is an extremely difficult topic for me to write about. (At this point I’m beginning to regret that I accepted this challenge.) It’s not like I couldn’t write an entire book (or nine) about the mistakes that I’ve made in the past and how I’m now kicking myself about them. My issue now is which one to be truthful about. Which one should I face? I could take the easy (and vague) way out and just say that I need to forgive myself for not being able to forgive myself, but that’s boring and so cliche. So, I’m going to get right to it and choose one that’s been in the forefront of my mind lately...I need to forgive myself for taking the experiences that I’ve had in my life for granted.
Here is just one example: How many people can say that they were able to travel to Spain, Puerto Rico, Italy, France, Africa, the U.A.E., and Greece no less than 4 times before the age of 21? Not too many that I know. These are experiences that now have to live in my memory because I can’t seem to find many pictures of the wonderful times that I was fortunate enough to have. I was able to sample the food, partake in the customs, and experience the culture in various different countries at a very young age and now I regret not being more responsible with documenting them. I was simply too young to appreciate the opportunity. I just wanted to go out and have a good time, not understanding that there was so much more to it.
Thank goodness there is a solution: my plan is to re-visit all of those places (and others) to create new memories. For me, this is the only way I can see getting over it. I’m getting older and I don’t want to resent myself for the woulda, coulda, shoulda. I’m just thankful that I can possibly have a “do-over”...most people don’t get that chance. Maybe some of you will be there with me to make the memories that much better. The one thing I do know is that the next time around, I’m going to appreciate the opportunity that I am blessed to have.
