Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts

Thursday

Do You Forgive and Forget or Do You Just Forgive?

Posted by Erin Brown on Thursday, September 29, 2011 in


‘The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naïve forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget.’

I’ve always been told that if you forgive, but don’t forget it’s not real forgiveness.  Now that I’m older and wiser I have to question that statement.  I’ve been through a lot in my life and I can’t say that I’d like to forget.  Forgive…yes, I’ll do that.  But for me to forget…I don’t think that’s at all possible.
Say you have been through a very hurtful situation.  We all have.  Although you immediately feel hurt by the person who betrayed you, you will eventually get over it.  When you decide to let all of the negative feelings go, you will be able to forgive.  But for me, forgetting is not an option.  I need to learn from the situation and be able to ensure I will not go through it again.  I need to be able to recognize the red flags that I missed the first time.  How can I do that if I forget?
We’re all human.  We all have brains.  Personally, I don’t think the brain is equipped with a delete button.  That’s why years later you may be able to remember something that you had not thought about in years.  There is a reason for it.  I don’t know why, but I do know that we are able to remember things for a reason.     
What’s most important to me is that I am able to forgive.  Forgetting, to me, is unrealistic.  Letting go of the hurt and living my life is what I’m concerned with doing.  And let me make this clear - I don’t forgive in order to make the other person or people feel good.  I forgive so that I can feel good.  I don’t want to harbor negative emotions or live my life holding on to the past.  I want to live my life each day knowing that I did the right thing and knowing that I can move forward with peace of mind. 
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Monday

Morning Motivation for 4.18.11

Posted by Erin Brown on Monday, April 18, 2011 in
‘Life's best lessons are learned at the worst times.’
The Universe sure does have a way of putting things into perspective and keeping us humble.  There are times when I feel like things couldn’t get any worse, but at that very moment is when I can see the lesson in it all.  For each negative situation that we encounter there is a positive lesson.  Learn from it and do not allow history to repeat itself.  These lessons are the blueprint for life going forward.  
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30 Days of Truth: Day 4 - ‘Something You Have to Forgive Someone Else For’

Posted by Erin Brown on Monday, January 10, 2011 in
It seems like there is no way to get away from calling someone out in this post, but I sat down to really think about it and I don’t believe that I need to forgive anyone.  For everything that I’ve been through in my life, I have done my best to forgive people.  It’s hard, but I’ve managed to accomplish this.  The only person that I haven’t forgiven is myself.  
I’m a firm believer that no one can do anything to me that I don’t allow.  With that being said, I cannot truthfully blame anyone for anything that has happened to me.  Yes, I’ve been through some crazy situations, but as I said earlier, I allowed it.  So, for all of you that were hoping for me to call someone out, I’m sorry to disappoint you.  :-)
(I truly hope that this 30 days gets easier.  UGH!)
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Sunday

30 Days of Truth: Day 3 - ‘Something You Have to Forgive Yourself For’

Posted by Erin Brown on Sunday, January 09, 2011 in
I sense these posts will get shorter and shorter.  This is an extremely difficult topic for me to write about.  (At this point I’m beginning to regret that I accepted this challenge.)  It’s not like I couldn’t write an entire book (or nine) about the mistakes that I’ve made in the past and how I’m now kicking myself about them.  My issue now is which one to be truthful about.  Which one should I face?  I could take the easy (and vague) way out and just say that I need to forgive myself for not being able to forgive myself, but that’s boring and so cliche.  So, I’m going to get right to it and choose one that’s been in the forefront of my mind lately...I need to forgive myself for taking the experiences that I’ve had in my life for granted.
Here is just one example:  How many people can say that they were able to travel to Spain, Puerto Rico, Italy, France, Africa, the U.A.E., and Greece no less than 4 times before the age of 21? Not too many that I know.  These are experiences that now have to live in my memory because I can’t seem to find many pictures of the wonderful times that I was fortunate enough to have.  I was able to sample the food, partake in the customs, and experience the culture in various different countries at a very young age and now I regret not being more responsible with documenting them.  I was simply too young to appreciate the opportunity.  I just wanted to go out and have a good time, not understanding that there was so much more to it.
Thank goodness there is a solution:  my plan is to re-visit all of those places (and others) to create new memories.  For me, this is the only way I can see getting over it.  I’m getting older and I don’t want to resent myself for the woulda, coulda, shoulda.  I’m just thankful that I can possibly have a “do-over”...most people don’t get that chance.  Maybe some of you will be there with me to make the memories that much better.  The one thing I do know is that the next time around, I’m going to appreciate the opportunity that I am blessed to have.
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