#RelationshipFail: The Mama's Boy
I obviously have some issues with mama’s boys. I believe the reason is because I am a very strong, independent woman. Am I a daddy’s girl? Yes, to an extent, but my parents instilled in me the importance of being an independent woman. I do not take every issue I have to them, nor do I take their advice each and every time they offer it. I am my own woman and I live my life for me…not for my parents.
Focus – Real men know the difference between what is important and what can wait. He will focus his energy on gaining power, making money, and taking care of his family. Notice that I didn’t mention sex. These men understand that they can get that from anywhere. They want a wife and a family. Sex comes along with that. He’s not going to waste time on frivolous ventures that will not benefit him or his family in any way. Everything he does has a purpose.
I refuse to be an option – This is the one thing that will make me re-think the entire relationship and leave quicker than Carl Lewis can run the 100 meter dash if necessary. I deserve to be a priority in my man’s life just as I will make him the priority in mine. This should be a given, but some men don’t get it. What woman is willing to be a close number two to her man’s mama? I am not the backup plan in case your mama decides not to go out on a “date” with you. Strong women understand that we can do badly by ourselves. I would rather be a priority in my own life than to be an option in a man’s life. I love myself too much to deal with a man that won’t put me first.
There are specific reasons that I will never be able to sustain a healthy, long-lasting relationship with a mama’s boy. I’m sure other women have similar reasons, but I can only speak for myself.
I love REAL men – There is nothing better than the feeling of being with a real man. In my opinion, real men have certain traits that make them who they are.
Strength – Real men make their own decisions and are willing to suffer the consequences at any cost. He is able to accept responsibility for all of his actions and words. He is not a coward and will face any obstacle placed in front of him regardless of the difficulty level and is willing to fix the problem if he is at fault.
Communication skills – Real men understand that communication is the key to any healthy and successful relationship. As his woman, he trusts you to be his confidante and best friend. He tells you everything. A real man would never leave you without talking to you first. That’s not his style. He will face the issues in the relationship in order to fix them. He can also put a strong woman in her place (verbally) without damaging the relationship or causing an argument. He will give you a lot to think about in a good debate and he will solve the issue without shutting down for long periods of time.
Focus – Real men know the difference between what is important and what can wait. He will focus his energy on gaining power, making money, and taking care of his family. Notice that I didn’t mention sex. These men understand that they can get that from anywhere. They want a wife and a family. Sex comes along with that. He’s not going to waste time on frivolous ventures that will not benefit him or his family in any way. Everything he does has a purpose.
Family-oriented – Real men take care of home first. This is why I could never be with a mama’s boy. To a mama’s boy, mama comes first while you and your children come second. That’s unacceptable to me. A real man will put his woman and child(ren) first. Everyone else plays the secondary role. Most importantly, leaving is not an option. He will do his best to work out any differences before he abandons the relationship that the two of you have built.
Doesn’t gossip – Real men will not gossip or spread your business to mama or anyone else. He knows that your trust is the foundation of the relationship and if he breaks that, you are gone. He’s not willing to do that. In my experience, real men use very few words and do not provide information unless he has to.
Role model material – Real men understand that people are always watching. He is respectful to others and has the utmost respect for himself. The only exception is in the case that he is disrespected. He ensures that he leads by example and passes the same quality on to his children. He sets the bar high and doesn’t ever let it drop.
Keeps his word – To a real man, his word is his bond. If he can’t deliver on the promise, he’s not going to make the promise. He doesn’t offer to do things that he knows he has no intention of doing. In other words, he’s not a compulsive liar or a sociopath.
Goal oriented – This man will set a goal and he will attain it. Failure is not an option. He has responsibilities and he will do everything in his power to be successful.
Authenticity – Yes, ladies and gents, real men are just that…REAL. They are genuine and expect the same from you. Real men are worthy of being made a priority in the life of a real woman. They don’t have ill intentions or ulterior motives. What you see is what you get.
I need an independent man – I am an independent woman and I deserve to be with a man that is the same. I cannot tolerate a man that chooses to live off of his mother instead of going out and getting his own place and paying his own bills. Don’t get me wrong, there are circumstances where it is warranted for a man to live at home, but the ones that aren’t ever willing to leave mama’s nest are not for me. I’ve also found that the mama’s boy is the one that will try to move into my house instead of trying to get his own. If we decide to do that together, that’s one thing. But it’s another thing for you to come to my house and purposely start taking up closet space. I am not your mama and this is not your mama’s house! Man up, fellas, because real women like me need go-getters! We need men that are willing to hustle as hard as we do to get to the top. You’ll never do that on your mama’s couch.
I refuse to be an option – This is the one thing that will make me re-think the entire relationship and leave quicker than Carl Lewis can run the 100 meter dash if necessary. I deserve to be a priority in my man’s life just as I will make him the priority in mine. This should be a given, but some men don’t get it. What woman is willing to be a close number two to her man’s mama? I am not the backup plan in case your mama decides not to go out on a “date” with you. Strong women understand that we can do badly by ourselves. I would rather be a priority in my own life than to be an option in a man’s life. I love myself too much to deal with a man that won’t put me first.
The bottom line is that I will never be able to be with a mama’s boy because they don’t have what it takes to handle a real woman that is capable of providing a real, lasting relationship. They are emotionally unavailable and too weak for me. So take heed, fellas - the criteria listed above are the PREREQUISITES to be with me…not the preferences. They are two completely different things. I need a real man to handle everything I have to offer. Mama’s boys need not apply...your application will be DENIED!
